I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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