He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize