he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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