All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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