those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize