apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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