idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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