Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize