I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
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Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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