Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

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  (201): I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me http://tfl.nu/61f7
  Replies (24) Good night (561) Bad night (6262) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".

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  (705): You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this". http://tfl.nu/puns
  Replies (39) Good night (8227) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.

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  (440): Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan. http://tfl.nu/6sdz
  Replies (8) Good night (3347) Bad night (654)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey man your outta milk

  (541): View more from Oregon

  How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!

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  (503): Hey man your outta milk (541): How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?! http://tfl.nu/1x3m
  Replies (17) Good night (10179) Bad night (1340)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

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  (919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo
  Replies (7) Good night (3150) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

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  (316): I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8zh1
  Replies (41) Good night (5727) Bad night (1463) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?

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  (618): Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth? http://tfl.nu/eljh
  Replies (9) Good night (845) Bad night (5174) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child

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  (217): This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child http://tfl.nu/n5f8
  Replies (10) Good night (2046) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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  (574): There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party http://tfl.nu/2g1j
  Replies (5) Good night (2284) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

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  (706): I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant. http://tfl.nu/0cvw
  Replies (50) Good night (5459) Bad night (1382) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?

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  (606): Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters? http://tfl.nu/uly0
  Replies (3) Good night (2187) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.

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  (317): HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING. http://tfl.nu/dtfs
  Replies (7) Good night (1912) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying

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  (714): You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying http://tfl.nu/xa50
  Replies (7) Good night (594) Bad night (1976) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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  (313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj
  Replies (4) Good night (1280) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.

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  (336): I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012. http://tfl.nu/82uc
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt

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