Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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