you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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