I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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