In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize