It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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