Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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