If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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