The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You made out with two different species that night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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