whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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