where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You work out of a Hotel?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize