i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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