Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
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well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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