forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize