she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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