I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize