All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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