she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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