I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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