have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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