I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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