i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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