haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said you looked used
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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