I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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