i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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