his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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