I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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