If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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