This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize