Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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