she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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