not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize