Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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