unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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