So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The air taste purple.
Randomize