Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
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It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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