We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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