Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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