my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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