the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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