I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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